TFB Timeout | The Last Jedi Hot Takes

For those of you who saw The Last Jedi, the following are my list of hot takes, things I liked and disliked about how Disney’s ruining the Star Wars saga (lol). Wait, you have a different opinion than I do? How does that work? You can’t be serious! As of now, I’m not one hundred percent certain about what I liked and disliked. So, let’s dive in.

The Plotish

Was the force strong with the plot? The First Order chases what remains of the Resistance fleet. Kylo chooses not to kill Leia, leaving it to his comrades. Leia Force floats back to the ship and is saved. The First Order is now able to track ships in hyperspace, cool new Star Wars technology. To rescue the remaining fleet, Finn and whatever her name is must find a hacker on a an arms-dealer frequented casino planet that races alien critters, the horror. Meanwhile, Rey deals with an over the hill Luke Skywalker on Jedi Library Island. She cajoles a lesson or two (were they really lessons?) out of him, hotline blings with Kylo, then peruses the darkside hole on the island. Luke doesn’t want to come back. Retirement is great and he’s given up on continual failure. That is until Force hologram Yoda appears to him and lets him know that all that knowledge and wisdom in the books somehow doesn’t count anymore. I don’t know about you, but post-modern Yoda is the worst Yoda. It’s a good thing Rey takes the books (I think that’s what I saw)! Back to the chase, after finally finding a hacker and escaping the totally cool casino planet where they didn’t find a totally smooth Lando, they managed to board the lead First Order ship to sabotage the tracking system. Are you following? The Benicio Del Toro character turns them in for crates of galaxy coin and now, they’re totally screwed. Only, they’re not because Holdo (Game of Thrones Freudian slip?) manages to retake the Resistance ship because Dumbron’s orchestrated mutiny fails. She turns the ship around and launches it directly into the First Order fleet at light speed. Be honest, were you hoping for Ludicrous Speed? This saves the remaining transports, enabling them to land on the old salty Rebel base planet, where they’re sitting ducks because Kylo and Hux easily find and pursue them. The Resistance mounts one more attack against a battering cannon and whatever her name is disastrously saves Finn from a kamikaze flight into the cannon, because love will win the war, right. After doom sets in, Luke appears from the gaping smoky hole in the base doors. They light him up like a First Order Christmas Tree. Luke remains and then battles Kylo (light sabers) until Kylo realizes Luke is just a Force hologram. Rey moves rocks to allow the remaining Resistance fighters to escape. Fin. I left a lot out, more on that because why exhaust this post?

Star Warsy Things

Leia finally uses The Force. It’s safe to assume she’s powerful because a deep space self-rescue is pretty damn cool. Now, it barely saves her and you wonder, what else might you see from the Princess. Lastly, did she ‘communicate’ with Kylo when he decided he didn’t want to ice mommy or was that a soft spot in Kylo’s whiny armor?

Kylo ‘turned’, get this, because of a misunderstanding. You see, because Force practitioners can’t see others’ intent. Yes they can. Wait, no they can’t. Who knows? I found this part more funny than anything. Luke’s right, he can’t succeed in anything because he’s afraid of the darkness. As Rey put it, Luke didn’t give him the choice because that’s now supposed to happen. Now, it’s burned in Kylo’s memory, Luke looking all ‘murdery’ at his bedside. Wait, who’s the darkside guy here now? How powerful is Kylo? You get the sense he’s been sandbagging his strength for two full episodes now, or maybe the show-runners are just terrible.

Yoda says it’s okay to burn books, books that accumulated knowledge and wisdom over thousands of years, sounds great! Leave it all in the past in that there tree, Luke, right? Lightning! That sort of sounds like Kylo’s message to Rey, doesn’t it? Do you see where this is going? I’m reading too much into this aren’t I?

Rey remains a mystery. Who are her parents? Was Kylo lying about them, probably? Anyhow, is she a match for Kylo? She certainly wasn’t for Snoke, who Force molested her while in his chambers. She received little from Luke, but she did explore the dark hole on the island and snapped her finger. There’s a chance that will remain pointless, as I don’t trust these dudes with this saga, for real. Anyhow, did she take the books. Will she empower herself, attempt to impose goodness, fail, suffer, then turn dark? I hope so. Rey’s role and purpose is all over the place, as is Kylo’s. That may be episode 9’s saving grace.

The Praetorian Guard was the best part of the movie. All-powerful Snoke, who managed to orchestrate a hostile takeover of a weakened Empire, then virtually destroy the Resistance with the help of his sandbagging apprentice manages to get himself killed by the much less powerful (is he) Kylo Ren, without the help of his absent cronies, The Knights of Ren. Kylo’s power should’ve allowed him to easily dispatch the Guard, no? Add to that, Rey fought alongside him to defeat 8 of them. Then, they broke Luke’s lightsaber, idiots! Didn’t they realize how much that artifact was worth? Anyhow, this fight scene was great and credit where credit’s due.

Force Redistribution is a thing now, it appears The Force is getting spread among the good and bad people of the galaxy. This is a huge departure from the past. You know, the past we all loved. Now, we’ll get watered-down Force stories from Disney, ones we can all feel good about.

Last but not least, who is Snoke!? After all that, dude gets chopped in half by Luke’s lightsaber because now he can’t tell what Kylo’s thinking? What was up with that? I almost feel bad for the mangled guy. After all that work manipulating others and laying down the Force law, he fails to take into account what a scoundrel his apprentice is. The biggest plot hole of the new sequels remains agape. That’s sad. I suppose everyone will find out, but do you even care now that Snoke isn’t really that much of a badass?

Where this saga goes nobody knows. I’ll admit, that’s a good thing. It’s clear Disney and it’s team of writers and directors wanted to take Star Wars in a completely new direction. While it’s been far from great, the movies were enjoyable. It seems a split occurred among the Star Wars faithful along the line of old and new canon. That’s fine, you don’t have to like it, you only have to pay to see it (lol). That is most likely what happens, as the brand is simply too powerful to put down. Let me know your thoughts and impressions about everything Star Wars in the comments.